do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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