In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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