You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
