I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Brb crying the tears of my youth
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
