What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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