pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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