if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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