How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
