Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drake has all the answers
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
