I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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