I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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