did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
