So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
