I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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