hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
