Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
