Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
