I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My life is pants optional.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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