Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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