whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
