Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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