I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
