last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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