I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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