The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize