Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize