im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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