all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
