Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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