laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize