just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i came on her dog
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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