I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
