Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
