i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
