Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
