do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
