whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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