I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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