Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
