Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
