I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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