So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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