This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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