He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
