Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
