hell yes lets make some ravioli
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
