I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
