Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
