you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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