im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
