just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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