Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
