Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
