He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
