come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
