We're facebook friends in real life
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
