I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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