We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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