Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
