oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He shit in the fireplace
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
