If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
