you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
