Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize